I vacillate between accepting God’s will in things I wish were otherwise, and persisting in the fight to try to bend things to my will.
I think I’ve gotten a little better at discerning which situations call for what strategy– sometimes, it seems to me that God puts things in front of me and says “Okay, you, fight or flight?” and my first impulse is always to fight rather than fly. Being who I am, and coming from a long line of warrior queens, and feeling very sure that I was made this way for a reason, I think that it’s usually God’s intention for me to fight the thing. But sometimes, it feels different, like I should just let it go, and I have to examine my conscience and make sure I’m not just being lazy or tired. Then, I consciously cede my will to God’s. There’s comfort and peace in doing so.
I’m still learning and I think I always will be.
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