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breaststroke, details, exercise, family, fearlessness, friends, health, love, memories, memory, missing persons, moment by moment, mother bear, notes to self, persistence, personal odyssey, plots, sharing, siblings, story, storytelling, universal
What kind of story would you like to hear?”
said Mother Bear.
“Tell me about me,” said Little Bear.
“Tell me about the things I once did.”–Else Holmelund Minarik, Little Bear
…and THAT is as good a reason as there is.
We all have stories; they differ in the details, but the themes are common, universal.
I started writing Missing Dad when my father disappeared. A lot of the detail in what I’ve written so far is extracted from emails, texts, and “notes to self” that were contemporaneous with the events I’ve described.
I am writing it because I don’t want to forget. I want my nieces and nephew to have a record of what happened, so that they can share our family’s story with their children and grandchildren and beyond.
The one day I didn’t do any contemporaneous writing was the day he was found. I was home that day; no need to email, no need to write notes-to-self.
That was the hardest day for me to write, because I had to dig deep into my memory and excavate the day, moment by moment. I was blocked on writing that day for months, because I wasn’t ready to do the necessary digging.
But dig I did; my need to tell them, and you, and everyone else the Things I Once Did surpassed my fear of the pain I anticipated that my digging would cause me.
The pain, as it turned out, was not so bad. Swimming really helped open me up to it.
My writing about my swimming is something else; it’s recording a quest. It’s my personal Odyssey.
It’s going very well, by the way. I now swim laps for an hour to an hour and a half, three or four times a week, once a week with fins.
I figure I am swimming about three to four miles a week.
My breaststroke is now my best stroke; I’ve taught myself how to do an open turn at the end of the lane. My hands hit the wall, I fall back, turn over and push off with my feet. It’s not quite pretty yet, but it is highly functional.
My bully has returned to the pool several times since I first told you what happened. There have been no further confrontations, which is a good thing. I’d hate to have go all WQ on her, and you know I would.
(Forewarned is forearmed. What got me last time was that it was a surprise attack.)
I hope these are stories that you like to hear. I tell you about me, and in doing so, I am trying to tell you about you.
The details are different, but the plots are universal: love, loss, quests, successes, failures, two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back.
It is all a journey; thanks for listening to mine.
Please share yours, too. If you have a blog, please post a link in my comments and I will add you to my blog roll if I haven’t already.
If you don’t have a blog yet, why not start one?
PS ~ Many thanks to Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project blog for unknowingly providing me with the great prompt at the top of this post.
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“I tell you about me, and in doing so, I am trying to tell you about you.” So true, and yet I’d never thought about it quite that way. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to write about your dad, and yet how freeing. You help me put my own struggles with what and how I write into perspective. As for the swimming–bravo! I have been a slug all summer. (I’m glad the bully-person is under control, although I’d love to see you go “all WQ” on her!) Cheers.
It’s so easy to forget the details of life, good and bad. I have been a journal writer since I was 14 years old although back then I wrote in code which I am not sure I could decipher now.
These days I keep two journals, one for me and one for my son along with a sketchbook or two. Memory can be so fleeting and changeable. If you don’t write it down it can flutter away…especially as we age. You write wonderfully, Claudia and my respect for you continues to grow even after knowing you for almost 30 years!
Claudia,
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your stories. I’m grateful you’re able to share, and in turn, connect with your readers and help us understand our own lives more. Congrats on the swimming as an outlet, and I’m glad the bully situation has simmered down.
Oh, here’s the link to my blog: http://jenniferjchow.blogspot.com/
I love Little Bear!
Life is full of moments, big and small, and what I’m learning is that what I might think is a big moment is someone’s small, & vice versa. In other words, sometimes the stories my kids want to hear from my childhood are tiny events in my mind, but they are huge to them. Writing all the moments down is such a great way to preserve them!
I’m glad to hear you have a plan for the bully! And I hope you never have a need to use it!
My blog is http://www.muddyingthewaters.com.
Thank you!
Your post made me think about why I write —which is complicated because I write to make money, which is the same reason I used to produce books. But it’s not just about making money — it’s also about telling people things they need to know, showing people how life can be enriched, helping people understand things they can’t always get a handle on, giving people pleasure and, now and then, reminding them that whatever they’re facing, someone else is facing it too.. Every book I’ve written has tried to give its readers one or more of things and has, also, paid for rent, tuition, and everything else, not always regularly, it should be said.
And, finally, I write because I like writing. And besides, other than garden, what would I do if I couldn’t write? Unlike you, I can’t draw….
Just beautiful. You have a way of connecting people to emotions that’s just amazing. I sat nodding my head as I read your post. you continue to impress and inspire me, as I’m fortunate enough to have you in my life.
“I tell you about me, and in doing so, I am trying to tell you about you.” That line resonates with me as well. I write to find out what I know. As I unearth the artifacts of my life, I often find connections and narratives, causes and effects that I didn’t notice the first go round. Sometimes when I see the patterns in someone else’s story, it triggers something true in my own. Here’s a link to my blog through my latest posts. http://larabritt.com/2012/08/08/bon-dance/. I’m already following you and I think you are me. Swim strong!
Wow, I never realized how poetic Little Bear is. I used to read them with my daughter. The quote you picked is wonderful.
Thank you for sharing your stories with us!